We are all worthy of love, belonging, feeling safe, flourishing, and living our best selves with our family, friends, at work and in our careers.
Breathe it in!
Everything in life that is worth having takes effort. Courageous, consistent and hopeful conviction and action. It takes courage to ask for what you need. You have to constantly do the work to develop the muscles of worthiness because you need them in ALL aspects of your life. And you have to remain hopeful that as you do the work it will get easier. You only need a glimmer of conviction that you are worthy and that you are noble. As you act that glimmer expands and eventually radiates out in all you do.
Embracing your worth that YES! it is your given right to live the best version of yourself requires fierce determination to say YES! NO! and setting Clear Boundaries.
The Nurtured Heart Approach and positive psychology teach us that wherever we give our energy that is what grows. When we start seeing our strengths, capacities, nobility and worthiness we actually live them out more and more. We receive a good dose of the happy hormone, dopamine, and our brain wants more. It is much easier to lead with our strengths. We are more creative, resilient and confident.
This requires fierce determination to not overlook any success in a situation. Every moment is a choice and every moment gives us a glimpse into who we are. We can celebrate our determination, flexibility, care, generosity, goodwill, honesty etc in every stage of achieving our goal. Actually the more you stop, acknowledge and breathe it in the more the more you develop your worthiness muscles.
It requires saying NO! to giving energy to what is going wrong. That is not the same as ignoring it. No ostrich head in the sand! Eyes wide open. This work is not for the faint in heart. It requires being honest with ourselves about a choice, our deficiencies, challenges, and the reality of the situation. We see it but don’t go down the lane with ranting and raving about it. We do not turn the garden hose on full blast!
Imagine a time that you blew it ( although I truly believe that in every decision we are learning something we all know what I mean when I say BLEW IT). How did your body react? Did you feel a surge of energy rush through your entire body and take over your head? Did you go on and on about what went wrong? Brene Brown warns us of this moment. We go into shaming ourselves.
That surge of unabashed energy given to lecturing and shaming ourselves is what we need to say NO! to. We “see” what we have done or failed to do (feel the guilt and discomfort)as Brene Brown says and then as the Nurtured Heart Approach teaches to quickly get back to using our strengths in that moment to move through the challenge.
Set Clear Boundaries!
Setting boundaries tells others how we expect to be treated. When our boundaries are fuzzy it is only a matter of time that we become angry or resentful with others and ourselves. Family, friends, boss, clients and colleagues. Knowing what we need and want in a situation takes awareness. Stating it requires courage and following through with the consequence when our boundaries are overstepped requires us to trust. Trusting ourselves and others in handling the consequence of stepping out of bounds. By setting clear boundaries we set the stage for MORE success! By setting clear boundaries we are showing our care, love and sense of worthiness to ourselves and to others.
Where to start?
Week 1: Be aware of when you give lots of juicy energy to something that goes wrong. How do you talk to yourself ? What kind of energy do you give it?
Week 2: Take one of the situations from week 1 and remember the full on energy you gave it. Now with that same vigor(!) turn your eyes into seeing something you did well in that same situation. A success. Even if it was a glimmer of success. Now go on and on about that. Try your best. You are worth it!
Restate your boundaries in that situation and breathe in ” I am Worthy”.
You are worthy of this work!
Will love to hear from you and how you are Embracing Your Worth!!
You Are Oprah-Igniting the Fires of Greatness by Howard Glasser
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being by Martin E.P. Seligman
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!